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  • 不管在任何情況下,都要抱持正面的心態


    18 六月 2015 Sylvie 陳思婷

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    我和我爸媽沒有很好的關係。我是獨生女。 爸媽當時結婚是因為祖父母覺得他們應該這麼做,所以他們並沒有時間真正了解彼此是否合適。 我媽媽對於愛情有很高的期待值,但我爸爸是個來自南台灣傳統務實的男人,對他而言,妻子應該照顧整個家族的人,並且不該為自己的付出感到抱怨。 媽媽不覺得被尊重與感到快樂,所以最後以離婚收場。

    這段不健康的感情也影響了我。

    我爸爸搬走後,我媽媽和我也處不來。 媽媽的個性很強烈,我試著不與她起衝突。 每當我做錯了一件事,我總是要試著隱藏,並且確認這件事不會再發生,否則她總是會不斷的翻舊帳。 這讓我成為一個很極端的人,不是零,就是全部。

    後來,媽媽再婚了。 我與對於女性在社會與生活中地位抱持非常傳統觀念的回教徒繼父也合不來。 所以最後我選擇搬離家裡。

    我決定要很認真的唸書,學習一個新的語言,所以可以幫助我不被困在這種情況,可以去看世界。 但這不是只是單純地想逃離。 最後,這些事情教會我不管在任何情況下,都要抱持正面的心態,即使對我的父母也一樣。

    “I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents. I was the only child. My parents got married because my grandparents thought they should do so they never really had the chance to get to know each other to see if they were a good match. My mom has high expectations in love but my dad is a traditional practical man from southern Taiwan. For him, his wife should take care of the family and never complain about how much she has done. She should just think about how much she could do for the family. She didn’t feel respected and felt unhappy most of her life. They ended up getting a divorce. And this unhealthy relationship had an impact on me.

    After my dad left, my mom and I couldn’t get along. As she has a very strong personality, I tried to avoid fighting with her. Each time I was making a mistake, I tried hard to hide it and make sure it would not happen again. Otherwise, she would bring that up again and again. It made me become a very extreme person, either there is nothing or you give everything.

    Later, she remarried. I couldn’t get along with my step dad who has very traditional Muslim thinking about woman’s place in life and society. So I moved away from them.

    I decided to study hard, learn a new language so I could see the world, that I didn’t want to be trapped in that situation but I also didn’t want to simply run away. At the end, everything I went through taught me to stay positive in every situation I could meet. Even with my parents.”

     

    (圖文授權自「Humans of Taiwan」,原文點此)

      關於作者

      我是一個來自法國的女生 Sylvie 陳思婷, 我想寫出在台灣的人情故事。

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